


You said dinner, not war.

by Arebas



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Humor, One Shot, too idiotic to be a real fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arebas/pseuds/Arebas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You said you were going to treat me to a fancy dinner in the universe's most beautiful palace and you make me wear this dress to a revolution!</p>
            </blockquote>





	You said dinner, not war.

**Author's Note:**

> Random little wtf silly scene that was in my head so now it's written down.

"Oh well, that was fun, wasn't it?" The Doctor disentangled himself from the crystal beads and slid off the old lamp. He hung in mid air for a few seconds before he let go of his hands landing with a muffled 'humpf'. Clearly surprised at this new acrobatic skill he didn't knew he possessed, he stood beaming with arms open, clearly waiting for River to jump.

"I am not jumping off this lamp, sweetie." She pointed to a switch by the wall instead. "You can just lower me down".

"Oh River, River, where is your sense of adventure?" He complained as he walked to the wall.

"I just had sex on a lamp in someone's palace amidst a bloody revolution. I think this lady knows how to have a good time."

"About that," - the Doctor interjected while he activated the lamp's descending mechanism - "where do you think those soldiers went?"

"I don't know. And quite frankly, I don't care." She hopped off the beautiful lamp before it touched the floor, waving a hand to the Doctor to let him now he could put it back up and she walked to join him by the wall. "You said you were going to treat me to a fancy dinner in the universe's most beautiful palace and you make me wear this dress to a revolution. Honestly! I could only pack one gun in this corset."

"And you used it quite nicely, if I may add"

The only reason the Doctor was still in the same room and smiling instead of running away looking for a place to hide was that she didn't sound half as angry as she sounded amused. He wondered if that had anything to do with the lamp sex. It had felt like the worst idea ever yet somehow it seemed to have worked for her. The things he was willing to do for this woman!

"The dinner was good though, you said so." He offered her his arm elegantly.

"Too bad we could only enjoy the soup before the masses burst in". She looked at his arm, then his face, then shook her head in defeat and passed her arm under it allowing him to guide her out of the wreck the sumptuous room had become.

The Doctor pushed aside the heavy tapestry that hung half loose from the ceiling and that was blocking their access to the door." I loved the way you used that horse to get us up the lamp, by the way. I must do that more often."

River pushed the door open and peaked down the now darkened corridor. "You want to stand on a horseback again? All clear." And she motioned him to come out.

"Not that bit, I was thinking more of the horseback riding. I haven't done that in ages. Fancy a trip to Ascott in the early 1900s? Oh, how about the Wild West? There was some brilliant horse riding to do there!" He was positively glowing.

"Doctor, I am hungry. So hungry I could eat a horse. You still owe me a dinner. And that... thing there... only helped to open my appetite."

He took her hand. "Are you talking about the riot or the sex?"

"Actually, I meant the soup." And she tugged him on. "Let's get out of this war."

“Maybe the old girl can produce some bananas for us. We could use the potassium”

And they walked hand in hand through the palace's corridors back to where the Tardis waited.


End file.
